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Continuing on the anxiety theme... This is a mixture of poetry and lyric. It's a little bit sprechgesang. This is maybe the oldest song on the album written just before I moved to Footscray, so that's... 2013-14, round there. At the time I was still pretty unsure of my singing voice, hadn't really found my comfort range, and this sung-spoken format was a way of testing the waters.

The full audio liner notes can be found here: blamesmarty.substack.com/p/not-even-a-cup-of-tea-liner-notes-f11

lyrics

LYRICS

(sung)
Don't go outside...
don't go outside...
don't go outside there's dread out there

(spoken)
if all my life has been
a reaction to fear
an eye into the void
a falsifying of cheer...

if all my life has been
a wishing for hope
expectance of cataclysm
burning both ends of a very long rope...

if all my life has been
one lurch after another in
fear of fear of fear of fear
then let me tell you sister/brother...

(sung)
I've done so many stupid things
that could have got me killed
I wasn't meaning to at all
but panic must be stilled

(spoken)
some nights long nights
I abandon fear
a glass for companion
kept often refilled and very near

some nights long nights
I've been off my mind
just where I intended
blissfully blind

some nights long nights
have a morning so wretched
when guilt, recrimination overwhelms
the hours an endless stretch

(sung)
don't go outside
don't go outside there's dread out there

I've done so many stupid things
that could have got me killed
I wasn't meaning to at all
but panic must be stilled

(spoken)
I structure this like a song, my dear
to keep it in your head
it is a cautionary tale for nights
I have fallen and I've bled

but here I stand as often before
and here I am alive
you may ask me what it's all been for
and the object was to survive

(sung)
so, do go outside when there's dread
out there, it's isn't all in your head
but neither is it near so bad
as we have sometimes read

I've done so many stupid things
that could have got me killed
I wasn't meaning to at all
but panic must be stilled

credits

from Not even a cup of tea (or Smarty sings weird songs), released November 17, 2023

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Steve Smart Poetry & Music Melbourne, Australia

Steve Smart is practically indestructible. Hard headed and stubborn, he may not be the most famous poet in the world but no one can say it's from lack of trying. All of his poetry and music albums are right here at Bandcamp.

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